The Bad Jews of Boston

As many of my 6 loyal blog followers may know (it might be down to 3 after the last post actually) I hail from Massachusetts originally and somehow I ended up in this fine gem of a city on Passover, which is like a Jewish easter but obviously way cooler.

The odds of me being in Boston on this tour on a major Jewish holiday are about as high as the odds of Sandra Bullock actually deserving her best actress Academy award this year for "Blindside." Honestly, she couldn't act her way out a wet paper bag and now she has housewives across America adopting these ghetto ass kids thinking they are going to be this mentor for the next sports star, only to find out that their family jewelry, cash and furniture have been stolen in the middle of the night as a result of their so called 'good intentions.' Sandra Bullock does not have the acting chops that Leo Dicaprio has in his little pinky finger and has he gotten an oscar yet? But I digress...

My lil brudder Matty also visited me out there for a few days. Seeing him was like a breath of air as fresh as Jessica Alba's ass after a colonoscopy (too much?).

I was also able to meet up with my amazing cousins, aunts and uncles while out there and it may come as no surprise that great times ensued, laughs were had and drinks were imbibed. My Uncle Michael led a Passover seder on Sunday, which may go down in history as the shortest, most abbreviated and ultimately the sweetest of all time. Generally a Passover Seder should last a good 2-3 hours minimum to cover all the songs, prayers, story telling, etc. An Orthodox seder will last a solid 4 hours.

I could not help but chuckle at how laid back or "reformed" of Jews we have become as of late. "Reformed" is the sect of Judaism that the orthodox refer to as "The Bad Jews." Well, while all the orthodox are starving to death and struggling through their seders, us "bad jews" were eating brisket, turkey, stuffing and drinking Manischewitz about 20 minutes into the seder. Thanks Auntie Maureen for the epic meal and Uncle Michael for the seder, your narration was both sufficient, entertaining and brief enough for us all to retain our sanity that fine day.

I would also like to add that my brother and I got lost driving home in the city for like 2 hours getting followed by "Staties" aka State Police of MA and I tried to take a picture of "Morrissey blvd." Much like our driving mission I failed. To make a long story short we ended up parking on the side of the road and calling a taxi to take us back to the hotel. It wasn't funny at the time, but since it has been a few days I am going to go ahead and tell myself that it's hilarious now.

Portland Maine

After a mind-addling, Nyquil filled, delirious 15 hour ride due south through Canada I awoke suddenly to find myself in Portland Maine (it could have been Islamabad Pakistan for all I knew at the time). As I cleared the cobwebs out of my brain and attempted to find my bearings, one clear thought entered my mind -- succulent Maine Lobster.

Maine Lobster in Maine is one of those items you have on the old bucket list to cross off before you die, so armed with a few of the crew we ventured out in search of the perfect Lobstrocities to consume.

How does one find the perfect lobster in an unfamiliar town one may ask? Well, I began with finding the fattest person I could under the assumption that he/she would know where to find the best of the best when it comes to food. In this case it was my jovial 350 pound cab driver, who after recommending a restaurant delved into a diatribe on the inner workings of the world of consuming lobster.

This guy may have been driving a cab but he could have definitely taught a master's class on the topic of lobster in Maine. He covered such wide ranging topics as the difference between Maine lobster and those oversized shrimp langostines they sell on the west coast marketed as Maine lobster to what the best way to eat a lobster is to how the ocean currents of Maine create the perfect enviroment for these lobster to thrive. Once he started talking, he wouldn't or perhaps couldn't stop until we reached our destination $20 in cab fare later (pricey but well worth it). Thanks Fat Man, you will be remembered.

The place was Demilio's and it sits on a boat on the Portland harbor, the special was two twin lobsters for $20. None of us looked at the menu, simply telling the garcon to go grab us one stuffed and one steamed lobster each and to not dilly dally.

Words can not describe the delights that were to ensue, photographs can do nothing to convey the experience of cracking that poor little lobster into a million little pieces (did you catch that reference to James Frey?) and eating that perfect succulent meat doused in garlic butter using my tiny little fork. My lobster put up a fight and did not want to be broken apart. So we went a few rounds and needless to say I broke that little bastard down and ate the hell out of him, voraciously I might add. The taste of that lobster alone is enough to drive a man howling mad with delight, streaking down the street in a daze of lobster induced euphoria. It was a meal that will truly ruin any later lobster meal I eat in life as they will surely pale in comparison to this experience.

I just want to thank those brave lobsters who gave their lives that day so I could eat a memorable meal. They put up a brave fight, but they were drastically outmatched and outgunned. May they go down in the history of this blog as true American heroes.

Halifax Canada

My first experience in Canada set me off on the wrong foot and I was not sure if I would be able to recover from this sour taste in my mouth.

So I order a pizza for 10 US dollars, and when it arrived the bill was $22. "Wha?" you may ask. Well, delivery costs extra in Canada ($8, apparently) and the tax is super high too (like 30% or more). I couldn't help but curse Canada and its amazing free medical care as a result of the extra taxes. Canada had a lot of work to do to impress me at this point. And yes I know what you are thinking... Is Greg willing to write off an entire country for paying an extra $12 on a pizza?

Hell yes I am!

Then I woke up and found myself in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Halifax is a sweet little city which somehow reminds me of San Francisco due to the gloom, mix of old and modern buildings and the bridge off in the distance. Needless to say I was impressed from the get-go.

Again while at "work" I was able to grab the camera and trek up a steep hill to this extremely old citadel. The view was amazing, the clouds were dense and the pictures were, well, picturesque. I couldn't help but smile to myself at my good fortune as I sat on top of this elevated ancient city looking down upon the modern metropolis below. Thanks for the photos Halifax, you are A-OK in my book. My favorite is the fancy soldier depiction (shown below).

Bang-her, I mean Bangor Maine

On March 22, the city of Bangor Maine awoke to find that its African American population had increased by 732% as a direct result of the Harlem Globetrotters coming into town. I'm just saying it stays "white" out pretty late in those parts. It must be some sort of early time change or something.

Not only is Bangor (pronounced Bang - Her) the home of Paul Bunyan aka Shakas it is also the home of Stephen King, author of the greatest saga of epic books ever written, entitled The Dark Tower.

After becoming completely immersed in these books it was a bit surreal to be in Bangor, mostly because Stephen King writes both himself and the town into the books. I hear he walks the same walk every day on the same street and goes to the same gas station at the same time as well (also in the books). The man likes his routine, apparently.

This area was right next to my hotel so I was giddy like a schoolgirl at the thought of seeing him. No luck in that department so I just had to keep on living my life and power through :(

Shortly thereafter, while I was "working" at the venue, I found the time to grab my skateboard and venture out to the skatepark next door. To my surprise after 3 months of snow, rain and non-stop cold my legs had not turned into atrophied, useless jelly-like twigs and I commenced shredding. Somewhere along the way I climbed a Paul Bunyan statue in the center of town and then off to Canada. Good times, thanks Bangher.

Glow in the Dark Bball Game

This week, I was fortunate enough to shoot the first ever basketball game in the dark, thanks to Crayola's marketing machine directed towards pumping some newfangled glow in the dark crayons to our country's youth.

The globetrotters came out donning full glow in the dark, black light gear, to play what must have been an extremely difficult game vs. the Generals. For a few moments I couldn't remember if I was at a rave or at a basketball game. I couldn't help but wonder if the kid at Dunkin Donuts had slipped me some ecstasy this morning. One way or another it was pretty trippy brah.

Needless to say it was a very difficult lighting situation for photography so I just left the shutter open, posted up in the right places on court and saw what came my way. I was able to get a few gems and called it a day.

Can't help it, I love being a tourist/dork

When in Rome...

Philadelphia

In my humble view, Philadelphia is unequivocally one of the best cities in the world. It looks like Gotham city from Batman, with old stone buildings, new skyscrapers and ancient statues dotting the urban landscape.

Alright, enough with the fanciful travel writing style, Greg. Right? Ok jerk, well here is what I actually did:

Despite the pouring rains and 25 mph winds, I decided to brave the elements and charge through the city with my camera in hand one afternoon. Somehow I survived and more importantly so did the camera. The result was some amazing photos ranging from the stairs in Rocky to Love Park, a legendary skate spot. And I only got into an argument with one cabby who told me to stop giving him such a hard time or he would throw me out of the cab. It's inevitable when you question the navigational skills of a seasoned driver from the city of Philly with limited English vocabulary. I apologized and we parted ways as frienemies.

Virginia Beach

After arriving in Virginia Beach to a hotel that looked like it had just survived the apocalypse, I managed to find the time to grab my camera and meander down towards the beach at sunset to pretend to passersby that I am some sort of hip artist. My hotel room had a balcony that looked right out on this beach, It was a true delight and well worth staying at the hotel in the midst of a serious renovation, that looks like it had been condemned recently.