Press Conference Penn State

I had to give a press conference a week ago at Penn State after the photos we took came out especially awesome that day.

Here is a little excerpt:

"One question at a time please, I will get to all of you, if you just wait your turn. Yes, our photos were amazingly epic today, our shutter speeds were perfect, the apertures seemed to be executing quite well. We ran into some issues during the pregame, so we adjusted our ISO and that seemed to work out well for us. We are just taking this one day at a time here, you know. We don't want to get ahead of ourselves and say we are taking the most amazing photos ever, but if our luck holds up and we keep shooting the way we have been, we appear to be on the right track here. I want to thank God, Canon, my telephoto lens and my flashes. Thank you folks, good night!"

Show-Business

It's official, I have been incorporated into a skit and am now part of the Globetrotters show. My job is to rush on court after the main Showman gets panced and is found to be wearing a tutu. A camera shutter clicking sound effect plays while I get all paparazzi out there and he demands that I stop taking pictures. Then he gets all into it and starts posing for me. Not to toot my own horn here but that's when the audience roars with laughter. The fans are left to wonder who that amazing, dynamic photographer out there is. But I must leave them disappointed, for I am but a simple man of the road, elusive and hard to capture.

Mascot Mayhem

The other day, one of our inflatable mascots was damn near mauled to death at a game when a bunch of rowdy children rushed onto the court and mistook him for a giant punching bag. Keep in mind, my buddy is inside the suit being attacked from every angle. A few minutes after the situation was under control I thought to myself, "Wow, I just sat there and took pictures while my friend's life was in real danger."

He forgave me after we had a good laugh about it and noone got hurt so we all came out on top that day.

As for these misguided children, they will likely grow up to become homeless drug addicts, convicts and/or prostitutes, forced to wander the world pondering why life has dealt them such a poor hand. When they meet their maker, he will look at them and say, "Remember that one day you tried to murder that harmless, loveable, inflatable mascot..."

Epic Photo

This is one of the most epic photos my lucky ass has ever had the opportunity to capture.

(Dunk by "Cobra")

3 Things

Recently, my crew and I received a very encouraging pep talk from an old Globetrotter legend in an effort to keep us from slacking while on the road. It went a little something like this...

There are only 3 things in this world that can fuck a man up:

1) Greed




2) Crack Cocaine



3) Pussy



True words of wisdom from a very successful and very great man. I will never forget them as long as I live and neither should you.

Happy Bday Matty

My lil brother Matt's b-day was last night so I dedicate this song to him. HAPPY BDAY MATT, I didn't forget either, I just remembered late. Love you dude.

_


And this little gem, that noone could ever dare forget out of fear that God Himself aka Morrissey, may descend upon us from his throne in heaven and strike everyone down using nothing but his sweet honey-like voice.

Freeboks

I got flowed a pair of fresh Reebok kicks the other day, courtesy of HGT. Sorry Vox Footwear I am now exploring my options when it comes to getting free shoes.