Cleveland

Road Pics Cleveland, Quicken Arena

Santa?

There's something different about this Santa, I can't quite put my finger on it.

Hasta SD

Today, it is with a heavy heart that I must bid adieu to my beautiful homeland of San Diego to brave the subterranean arctic temps of the east coast. Shortly, I will arrive in Pittsburgh, which now boasts an eye opening 28 degrees of pure cold.

My spoiled SoCal ass is already freezing, but as a M-A-N-E (that spells man) I am left no choice but to power through and rely on my award winning coat of chest hair to keep me warm. My exploits in the past have earned me this mass of untangled, untamed, unbelievable chest fur and it is finally time to put it to use. Don't let me down, buddy.

Below are some pics of my last night in North Park.

And yes Shakas, Steve did piss in your sink while you were in the bathroom.

Where's Greggo?

As you may know, I am about to embark on an epic conquest of the Northeast American continent and will be gone from Xmas day until late April.

Due to legal implications, I am not allowed to say the name of the group I will be on the road with, but let's just say it rhymes with blarlem blobeblotters. As their tour photographer, I will be sharing my travels on this blog as well as trying to remain free from both incarceration and exile.

I know what you are thinking, you have to leave on Xmas, that sucks. Not for me, due to one reason. J-E-W. We like to eat chinese food and go to movies on Christmas so being on an all expense paid US/Canada tour is not so bad.

I'll miss my fam, my boo, the homies, lil maggie (below w/ natty ice), and cali burritos. Stay thirsty my friends, I will return.

Wedding Afterparty

The best part about going to a dry wedding is how drunk everyone gets before, during and after. We even had a guy dressed up as a giant penis (oh, I mean peanut).

The Wedding

Our little boy is all growns ups. JT and Amanda tied the knot and all the homies were there to give moral support and see how inebriated we could get in the parking lot outside (it was a dry wedding for most, but let's just say not for us). Overall, I would say we were successful on both fronts. Yes, it is true I was also the best man and delivered a speech that many have touted as, "Way tighter than that one speech Martin Luther King gave that one time." Their words, not mine.

PS One of these pictures may not have been at the wedding, see if you can figure out which one it is.

Kern River

After much criticism and a deteriorating fan base, I have decided to throw my towel back in the blogging arena. This time I'm really back. For real, no really. You still don't believe me, huh? Well, fine. Blow it out your ass jerk. Above are a few pics of our Kern River madness, enjoy and stay tuned....

Bittersweet Bocce

Ever since the first openly straight lawn bowler turned gay again and moved back to Europe, the EBBL (Extreme Bocce Ball League) has taken quite a hit struggling to regain our hetero fan base. Nonetheless, we put our heads together and decided to power on and continue in the true fighting spirit of this league as our forefathers did before us. It wasn't easy but this Sunday we somehow found the booze, meat and motivation needed to persevere and get back out on the course. It was truly an epic day in Boccce Ball History, once again proud to be an all gay league.

The blog is back, bitch

Thanks in no small part to my shiny new digital camera, the ol' blog is now back up and running. Over the past few months I have had lots of time to reflect on the direction of this blog, work on my blogging skills, and train my blog muscles while listening exclusively to "The Final Countdown" by Europe.

So, all of my followers (the whole half dozen of them) can rest assured that there will an influx of new enthralling material on the REGS. And if you find yourself asking, why would I follow the blog of some random dude, then allow me to say, "Shhhhhh, it's okay, Papa Greggy will take good care of you..."

Dillion Dollar Bill

Hector makes the mad armadillo dollar. Check it out, even though it's been on 6 of my friends blogs already.

Top Gun Trailer Re-Cut

This under the gaydar trailer for the legendary 80's genre film Top Gun is golden. Have a look and prepare to laugh until you spew bodily fluids out of all your orifices.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekXxi9IKZSA

Jew Fun Facts

Jewish Fun Facts will be a regular installment on this blog to educate the readers about all the crazy wacky things that those kooky Jews do, which most gentiles are unaware of. Enjoy...

FACT: ALL JEWS LOVE HUMMUS, ALOT!

FACT: ALL JEW SKATEBOARDERS LIKE TO POSE IN FRONT OF ISRAELI FLAGS

FACT: NOT ALL JEWS WEAR THOSE FUNNY HATS AKA YARMULKES (yah-muh-kah), BUT THIS ONE DOES...

Green Monster University aka my cousin's new book

My cousin Andy Wasif is as comedic as a young virile Jerry Seinfeld and he just wrote a book called Green Monster University: Creating Die-Hahd Fans Since 1901. I will not hesitate to encourage you all to purchase this item post-haste. This comedic "textbook" illustrates the teachings and life lessons that create the the worldview of any hahd core Red Sox fan, which can all be learned at "Green Monster University."

I know what you're thinking, "F$%# the Sox, they win all the time now." This is where you are dead wrong, my friend. After 86 years of losing amidst humiliation and degradation, the only way a Sox fan could cope is through humor, much like the Jews. The result of these repeated postseason thrashings is this tome of knowledge and tomfoolery, a metaphorical guidebook for us all to navigate this crazy playoff series called life.

Hey, don't do it for me, do it because people from Boston are just funny. They speak kind of retahded, they drink cooooffee, they pahk the cah, they bang whoooahhs and instead of getting drunk they get wicked pissah, all that.


Here is a little description, so stop toggling between my blog and internet porn and just focus for a moment:

Green Monster University teaches enthusiasts of all aptitudes and levels of passion what it takes to be a Red Sox fan. This book has every piece of information you'd ever want to know about them . . . some of it factual. With this book, you'll learn about all the intricacies that go along with being in the best fan base in the country.

Andre the Giant, my new favorite drunk

I have a new favorite drunkard and incidentally it is Andre The Giant, recently crowned the Greatest Drunk Ever by Modern Drunkard magazine. He is pure M-A-N, and could drink your punk ass under the table 20 times over.

Here are some liver blowing statistics about the notorious 7 foot 5, 500 pound wrestler/pile of shit:

Andre the Giant drank 7,000 calories worth of booze every day

According to Hulk Hogan, Andre drank, at a minimum, a case of tall boys during each bus ride. When he finished a can Andre would belch, crush the can in his dinner-platter-sized hand, and bounce the empty off the back of Hogan’s head.

Andre the Giant holds the world record for the largest number of beers consumed in a single sitting. These were standard 12-ounce bottles of beer, during a six-hour period. Andre drank 119 beers in six hours. That’s a beer every three minutes, non stop.

On another occasion, Andre was touring the Kansas City territory and went out for drinks after a show with Bobby Heenan and several other wrestlers. When the bartender hollered last call, Andre, slightly annoyed, announced that he didn’t care to leave. Rather than risk an altercation with his hulking customer, the bartender told Andre he could stay only if he was drinking, imagining, surely, that he would soon be rid of the big fella. Andre thanked the man, and proceeded to order 40 vodka tonics. He sat there drinking them, one after another, finishing the last at just after five in the morning.

As you can see, it's not easy to be a complete piece of shit, but Andre the Giant was determined, committed and belligerent with an unquenchable thirst. He achieved his goals and he wasn't a little bitch about it, setting several world drinking records in the process. Some say he had a terrible drinking "problem," but I disagree, it was a drinking solution. As you can see, this oversized goofy bastard solved alot of drinking issues in his lifetime. Our hats go off to you Andre, Rest in Peace.

Save Henseleys

Matt Henseley's bar is a dope place to chill. Sunday nights there with DJ Blairly Legal are a damn good time with the Smiths playing constantly (Did I mention Morrissey is my lord and saviour?). The real kick in the balls is that the place closes down early, much like a whore's legs in church. Sign this petition to help the place stay open later. Or don't if you're a lazy pile like me. I really don't give a fuck.

Garbage Blog

For starters, check out this funny ass SNL vid: